I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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