I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
50% drunk capacity currently
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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