Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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