ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
