How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just gift wrapped bread.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
