Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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