Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize