The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
