haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
