..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
