found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
