How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
