WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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