I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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