My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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