Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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