it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
