wrigley field is MILF paradise
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize