If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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