Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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