That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
