OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
