No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
