You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
