I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
