nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize