you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
