no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
