how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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