when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
