just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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