Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
