why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize