Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
