yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
