actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
