just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
