it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize