How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
