So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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