I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
