if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
