Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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