I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
