you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
