Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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