She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
