You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
