Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
