I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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