Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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