You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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