I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
