3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
