i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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