Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
