I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Houston, we have a blender
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
