You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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