just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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