Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize