i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
