Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
