Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
my liver is dry heaving
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
