HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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