If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
