hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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