I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
